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Or so they think.
There is a common saying in our world that goes something like "Nerds rule the world." Or, "Nerds Rule." I heard this and it got me thinking: Do Nerds really rule the world? (Why am I capitalising the word "Nerd?" I shouldn't, and from this point forward, (or as some people say "foward"(lordy, I am the master of the parenthetical insertion inside of a parenthesis).)) I won't.
The obvious answer is, no. Nerds do not, in fact, rule the world. Now, do nerds often make a lot of money? Yes. But they ain't killer, and they ain't rule no world. Let's take a look at some prominent world rulers over history and see who really rules the world:
1. Abbas I of Safavid: Shah Abbas I (شاه عباس اول) (January 27, 1571?-January 19, 1629?) was the most eminent ruler of the Safavid Dynasty. He was also known as Shah Abbas the Great (شاه عباس بزرگ). In early October, 1588 he became Shah of Iran, by revolting against his father, Mohammad of Safavid, and imprisoning him.
In the midst of general anarchy in Persia, he was proclaimed ruler of Khorasan in 1581, and obtained possession of the Persian throne with the help of Morshed Gholi Ostajlou, whom he later killed in July, 1589. Determined to raise the fallen fortunes of his country, he first directed his efforts against the predatory Uzbeks, who occupied and harassed Khorasan. After a long and severe struggle, he regained Mashhad, defeated them in a great battle near Herat in 1597, and drove them out of his dominions.
Sound like a nerd to you? Well, in the case that it does, look at this bit of info:
When Abbas died, his dominions reached from the Tigris to the Indus. His fame is tarnished, however, by numerous deeds of tyranny and cruelty, particularly against his own family. Afraid of a coup by his family (as he had done to his father), he locked them up in palaces in order to keep them without knowledge of the outside world. This resulted in weak successors. He killed his eldest son, Safi Mirza, and left his throne to his grandson.
No man who kills his own son could be considered a nerd. An insane sonofabitch? Maybe. But a nerd? No way. Let's take a look at the next non-nerd ruler:
2. Eric of Pomerania: Dude was the ruler of Iceland. Iceland, bitches. From contemporary sources King Eric appears an intelligent, visionary, energetic and firm character. That he was also a charming and well-speaking man of the world was shown by a great European tour of the 1420s. The reverse of his character seems to have been his hot temper, his lack of diplomatic sense and an obstinacy that bordered mulishness.
Almost the whole of Eric’s sole rule was affected by his long-standing conflict with the Holstein counts. He tried to regain South Jutland (Schleswig) which Margaret had been winning but he chose a policy of warfare instead of negotiations. The result was a devastating war that did not only end without conquests but even let him lose the South Jutlandic areas that he had already got. During this war he showed much energy and steadiness but also a remarkable lack of adroitness. A German Imperial verdict of 1424 recognising him as the legal ruler of South Jutland was ignored by the Holsteiners. The long war was a strain on Danish economy as well as on the unity of the North.
See? From what I understand of what that shit I took from Wikipedia says is that Eric was basically a stupid, useless bastard.( See paragraph 2, "a remarkable lack of adroitness.") He was overthrown, by the way. And no nerd would have a hot temper and am obstinancy that bordered mullishness. I don't know what that means, but I'm sure most nerds aren't mullish at all, dude.
(As a sidenote, there was also an extremely nerdy dog named after him, the Pomeranian.) (Ok. I probably made that up.)
And last but not least:
Ghenghis F'ing Khan: No need for a cut and paste on this dude, you all saw what he could do in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Just know this:
Genghis Khan generally preferred to offer opponents the chance to submit to his rule without a fight, but was merciless if he encountered any resistance. In such cases he would not give an alternative and would mercilessly slaughter the popul ation of the resisting cities, leaving only the skilled engineers, artists, spies and any troops who submitted and incorporating them in the Mongol system to expand their manpower, while absorbing their technology and skill as needed. There also were instances of mass slaughters even where there was no resistance, especially in Northern China where the vast majority of the population had long histories of accepting nomadic rulers. Genghis Khan's conquests were widely characterized by wholesale destruction on an unprecedented scale and radical changes in the demographics of Asia.
Mass slaughter is not the stuff of nerds. Not in my book anyway.
In conclusion, don't give me Bill Gates, okay? He don't rule the world. Don't give me computer programmers, stock traders or some other rich nerds. Nerds don't rule the world, turns out kick ass mass-murderers do. So, the moral is, if you wan't to rule the world or a portion of it, don't be a nerd, be a cult of personality who is not above killing women and children for little to no reason. Okay?
Peace and Love,
MC WISHBONE
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